自己紹介は自分の棚卸し。なんだって。
ああ、なるほどなって思った。自分で自分を詳らかにしておかないと、他者に紹介なんてとても無理。だから私は自己紹介が嫌いだったのか！
かつてしてきた自己紹介思い出してみよう。
「わたしのなまえは○○ようこです。すきなものはいちごです」
とか、
「○○ようこです。好きな教科は国語と理科です。苦手な科目は体育です」
なんて、幼気なものから始まって、
中学・高校になると
「趣味は読書です。特に推理小説が好きです」
「最近は『北村透谷』に挑戦中です」
なんてイイコな科白を言うようになり、やがて面接の自己PRでは、たかだか学生のアルバイト経験を素晴らしい社会活動であったかのように語る。
自分の棚卸しから随分と程遠い。
とは言え、その場で求められる答え方って、あるよな。
例えばPTAの初顔合わせみたいな場では、学生時代に理工学部でバイオセンサーの可能性についての研究室にいました、なんて情報は誰も求めていない。
セミナーや講演会に勉強しに行った先では、娘がいま中２で、正に厨二な漫画やラノベが増えて困っている、なんて話してもきっと場違いも甚だしいだろう。
とすれば、自己紹介とはペルソナの設定と言えないだろうか？
洗い浚い棚卸しした中で、その場に応じた自分をチョイスする行為。
小説の世界に嵌るのも、御朱印集めるのも、タロット読むのも、編み物するのも、ミシンで小物を作るのも、レザークラフトをするのも、中森明菜が好きなのも、断捨離塾を聴講しているのも、英語が全然できないのも、そのくせNHKラジオのスペイン語講座を聞いて勉強しているのも、農家の長男の嫁なのも、射手座で飽きっぽいのも、A 型で理屈っぽいのも、みんなみんな等しく己を構成している要素ではあるけれど、それをすべて等しく曝け出す必要があるかと聞かれれば、否と答える。
母としての仮面《ペルソナ》、妻としての仮面、嫁としての仮面、地域の一員としての仮面、どれも決して嘘ではない。
なので、このブログにおける自分のペルソナを、ブログタイトルにしました。
これから高校受験に挑むことになる娘を持つ母親。
まあ、多趣味は無趣味、を地でいく射手座なので、あちこち寄り道するであろうことは既に予想はつくけれど、コンセプトをタイトルとしたつもりなので、常にそこに戻るつもりではある。
長々と書き連ねてきたが、これが、有料サーバーを使って上げる、最初の記事である。
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